Couples & Family Therapy
Words that are often used to describe what are foundational to healthy, loving relationships are trust, intimacy, and vulnerability. But our clocks don't always sync with our most significant other. Each partner individually has his or her own fears, and real concerns. In taking on the many complexities of our lives, we may begin to feel frustrated, and may self-isolate and disconnect from our most significant other. Or, we may escalate anxieties, and go to "battle" with our partner.
My job is to first create a safe, trusting environment where you will each be able to express your personal needs and concerns, as well as the freedom to convey what may be "missing" for you from your partner toward these ends. Both of you will "hear" the other in perhaps a way that you have not been able to on your own. I will listen, facilitate, and look to help you both--collectively--by us processing together the following areas:
Patterns of Communication
Mutual Goals Going Forward
My job is to enable both of you to be heard and understood by one another. When this is conscious, it is then possible to rebuild connections that you already have, which may have become dormant, or blocked, in lieu of other “priorities.”
I utilize proven methods, such as Gottman and Imago therapy techniques, and provide you with real-world tools to be applied at home.
Family dynamics are incredibly complex. And family dynamics change over time as children become teenagers, and teenagers become adults. As such, it is important to first step back before attacking what is seemingly the most important crisis of the moment. We may learn that what is initially seen as a crisis, or an issue of a certain child or teen, may also be part of a deeper systemic pattern as to how your family interacts.
It's important to understand that if the parental dyad isn't in sync, the issues we have with our children will be more difficult to tackle. Parenting is work, and so it is extremely important that the parents be on, or around, the same page. This doesn't mean parents have to agree on everything. But there should be some fundamentals, a foundation if you will, to build from.
Every set of circumstances is different, and yet there are helpful "rules" which can be established, or re-established and reconfirmed. I often first look to check in with the parents only, to get a sense of what is going on from both parent's perspectives.
When the family is together, all family members will be heard, and hopefully understood. I will be moderating this process. This is not to suggest that everyone falls into agreement. There will be differences, and we will look to process these. We will look to determine what is to be reasonably expected of family members.
From the work in our sessions, lasting meaningful agreements can be created by the family, for the family. When this is successfully accomplished, whatever issues arise "of the moment" will then be more consistently manageable.
I incorporate a spectrum of family systems theory, much of which will be utilized and useful to you in your home life.